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Hotness Scale

from Planet Vegan by John Sakars

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lyrics

How hot am I? Who gives a fuck?
On a hotness scale, I may not be an eight.
But if we go on a date, I will try not to be late.
On a hotness scale, I may not be a seven.
By the way, I'm an atheist. I don't believe in heaven.
On a hotness scale, I may not be a six.
But there's no part of your body that I won't give licks.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a five.
I don't give a fuck. I'm just glad to be alive.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a four.
I try not to complain if I have to do a chore.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a three.
I don't care. I'm just glad to be me.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a two.
By the way, no murdered animals in my stew.
I am a vegan, as you can see.
Fuck hotness scales. I'm just glad to be me.
If people think you are hot, that's lovely.
But remember to be compassionate too.
It's nice if you have a beautiful head of hair,
but don't forget to be kind to animals everywhere.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
On a hotness scale, how do I rate?
I don't give a fuck.
On a hotness scale, I may not be an eight.
But you can think about me when you masturbate.
On a hotness scale, I may not be a seven.
But my music rocks. Turn it up to eleven.
On a hotness scale, I may not be a six.
But at least I don't send unsolicited dick pics.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a five.
I have a driver's license, but I don't like to drive.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a four.
Making art and doing activism makes my heart soar.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a three.
I like to go for hikes and hug a tree.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a two.
I don't have murdered animals in my poo.
I am a vegan, as you can see.
Fuck hotness scales. I'm just glad to be me.
If people think you are hot, that's lovely.
But remember to be compassionate too.
It's nice if you have a beautiful head of hair,
but don't forget to be kind to animals everywhere.
How hot am I? Who gives a fuck?

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from Planet Vegan, released October 4, 2016

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John Sakars Niagara Falls, Ontario

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