1. |
||||
|
Babe, if I could fly us away
To planet Vegan
Ya know I would do that for you
But I know
That you wouldn't want to go
Unless you could bring every animal on Earth with you
So I'd have to build a massive spaceship
Big enough for us
And every single creature on Earth
We'd have to make some extra room
Because during our voyage
Some of the animals would give birth
We could fly to planet Vegan
And cuddle with the animals
We could live on planet Vegan
And eat fruits and vegetables
Planet Vegan could be
The paradise of our dreams
But unfortunately
This plan is not as easy as it seems
Maybe someone could build a massive spaceship, but I'm not that guy
And planet Vegan is very, very far away
The trip would take so long
Many of the animals would be gone
For now, my love, planet Earth is where we've got to stay
Babe, if I could snap my fingers
And make everyone go vegan
Ya know I would do that for you
But I don't have any magical powers
However, I do have a voice, and you do too
We can spread the word
About veganism
To everyone
Everywhere
We can teach people how to respect
How to love
How to care
We can make Earth planet Vegan
And cuddle with the animals
We can make Earth planet Vegan
And eat fruits and vegetables
Planet Earth can be
The paradise of our dreams
Planet Earth can become
The paradise of our dreams
|
||||
2. |
||||
|
Hey there do you wanna cuddle with me on the grass under a shady tree
and eat a bowl of fruit and have a conversation?
We can talk about the animals and how
we wanna do a lot of activism
because being vegan ain't enough.
I would be delighted if you'd like to spend some
time with me because I find you interesting.
I could learn a lot from you.
Every single one of us is a work in progress
and we can all learn from each other every
single day that we're alive.
I know life can be sad sometimes.
I hope you and I can hang out sometime.
Is society very fucked up? Yes it is.
Can we make it less fucked up? Yes we can.
Hey there do you wanna dance with me under a starry sky?
I wish that light pollution didn't block so many of the stars.
Speaking of pollution, I wish that more people rode a bike
or rode a bus or shared a car so that there weren't so many cars.
And I also wish there weren't so many bars
and people drinking alcohol and getting drunk.
I wish they could get high on life.
Of course maybe it's difficult for people to get high on life
when capitalism makes it so that people have to work a lot.
Hey there do you wanna kiss?
You will not have to worry about finding
particles from murdered animals between my teeth.
I am glad to be a vegan.
It is better for my health and better for the animals
'cause animals don't want to die.
I hope that one day our planet Earth will be a
peaceful place and there will be no more violence.
We need to be compassionate.
Everybody in the universe is family and everybody
needs to come together, stop the fighting and be one.
Hey there do you want to shake my hand?
I want to thank you for being a voice for animals.
I thank you for all that you do.
If you wanna go on a date with me that would be lovely,
but I am happy just being alive and I am glad you're alive too.
|
||||
3. |
||||
|
I do not stand for nationalism.
Let's get rid of all borders.
Let us come together. Everyone on Earth.
Love everybody, not just those who live
on the land where your mother gave birth.
Borders divide us. Money divides us.
Religion divides us.
Let us come together and be a tight-knit community.
If I hear a national anthem play,
I sit the fuck down. Sit the fuck down. Sit down.
I refuse to stand for nationalism.
I refuse to stand for patriotism.
I am a citizen of planet Earth.
Planet Earth is the place where my mother gave birth.
I am not a citizen of any country.
I am an Earthling. I deserve to roam freely.
I do not stand for nationalism.
Let's get rid of all borders.
No more making bombs. Put down your guns.
Everybody under the sun is one.
Let's embrace unity and equality,
and live together in harmony.
Let's share the resources. We don't need to fight.
There's enough for everybody's needs if we unite.
We can have the peaceful world we've been dreaming of.
Let's get rid of all the hate and replace it with lots of love.
If I hear a national anthem play,
I sit the fuck down. Sit the fuck down. Sit down.
I refuse to stand for nationalism.
I refuse to stand for patriotism.
I am a citizen of planet Earth.
Planet Earth is the place where my mother gave birth.
I am not a citizen of any country.
I am an Earthling. I deserve to roam freely.
|
||||
4. |
||||
|
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
The time has come for emancipation. We want animal liberation.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
Give us cause for celebration. We want animal liberation.
Humans are not superior to our fellow Earthlings.
But even if we were superior,
we have no right to use animals for anything.
Animal have feelings, just like we do.
Animals feel pain, just like we do.
Let's be kind to animals everywhere.
No more apathy. We need to care.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
The time has come for emancipation. We want animal liberation.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
Give us cause for celebration. We want animal liberation.
Even if you're not a big fan of rules,
perhaps you appreciate the Golden Rule:
Treat others as you'd like to be treated.
Treat others as you'd like to be treated.
You wouldn't like for somebody to kill you
and throw your flesh into a pot of stew.
So don't pay for animals to be killed.
Animals want to live. Not be grilled.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
The time has come for emancipation. We want animal liberation.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
Give us cause for celebration. We want animal liberation.
There are vegan versions of meat, eggs, and dairy.
They don't need to be delivered by a fairy.
You can find them in your grocery store.
They're delicious. Eat them and go get more.
I love being vegan. I feel very healthy.
I like livin' in such a way that I'm not supporting cruelty.
Be kind to animals on land and in the sea.
Embrace unity and equality.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
The time has come for emancipation. We want animal liberation.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
Give us cause for celebration. We want animal liberation.
|
||||
5. |
Sometimes I Say Words
03:53
|
|||
|
Words can be very useful. They can help us express ourselves.
Sometimes I say many words. Sometimes I only say a few words.
Once in a while there are times when I can't find words that express how I feel.
During those times I'll sometimes make a sound like this _____.
Sometimes I say words. Sometimes I say _____.
Sometimes I say sentences. Sometimes I say _____.
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.
I know how to use those letters to spell many words.
But I'm afraid I have no idea how to spell _____.
Sometimes I say words. Sometimes I say _____.
Sometimes I say sentences. Sometimes I say _____.
Saying _____ may make me look silly, but I do not mind.
Saying _____ relaxes me. Helps me to unwind.
I try not to take life too seriously. I don't want to get stressed-out.
Saying _____ can be lots of fun. There is no doubt.
Sometimes I say words. Sometimes I say _____.
Sometimes I say sentences. Sometimes I say _____.
|
||||
6. |
||||
|
Here I am thinkin' about my mortality.
Tick tock goes the clock.
Here I am thinkin' about my mortality.
Thinkin' bout the fact that I will not always be
able to hug a tree or walk by the sea.
Turning back into dust is my destiny.
Time flies by.
Here I am thinking, but one day I will stop thinking.
I'll no longer be alive. I'll be dead instead.
One day I am gonna be dead.
No more sunshine on my face. No more mud on my feet.
From the universe, my consiousness will make a retreat.
Every day brings me closer to death.
One day I am gonna be dead. One day I am gonna be dead.
I will stop being alive. I'll be dead instead.
Since there's a lotta shit I wanna do, I better do that shit now.
One of the biggest mistakes we humans make, is thinking we have time.
Any single moment, I could stop breathing.
Tomorrow is promised to no one.
Whatever you wanna do, go do it now.
After you are dead, you cannot beg the universe for one more day.
Do the things you wanna do now.
Here I am thinkin' about my mortality.
Thinkin' bout the fact that I will not always be
able to hug a tree or walk by the sea.
Turning back into dust is my destiny.
When will I die? I do not know.
Maybe one day I will stop being a human, and become a transhuman.
Maybe I will survive for a thousand years or even longer.
I have no idea what the future will bring.
For now, I just want to sing.
The future is promised to no one.
I gotta do what I wanna do now.
I have no idea what the future will bring.
For now, I just want to sing.
|
||||
7. |
Paradise
03:52
|
|||
|
Animals are our friends.
And you wanna save them.
And you wanna save them all.
You wanna save them all.
Planet Earth is our home.
And you wanna save it.
And you wanna save our home.
You wanna save our home.
You and I are wonderful people.
We can make a difference.
We can make the world a better place.
We can make the world a better place.
I don't know if we can make the world a paradise,
but we can make the world a better place. Wouldn't that be nice,
to have a world where everybody cares about the animals?
I don't know if we can make the world a paradise,
but we can make the world a better place. Wouldn't that be nice,
To have a world where everybody cares about the planet?
You and I are wonderful people.
We can make a difference. We can make a difference.
We can make the world a better place.
We can make the world a better place.
We all wanna live in paradise. A paradise right now.
I don't know if we can make the world a paradise,
but we can make the world a better place. Wouldn't that be nice?
|
||||
8. |
||||
|
Time for equality.
Women don't have to shave their legs. If you don't like it, go fuck yourself.
Women don't have to shave their armpits. If you don't like it, too bad.
Women don't have to trim their pubes. If you don't like it, go fuck yourself.
Women don't have to grow their hair long. If you don't like it, too bad.
There are only two things a woman needs to do: eat and poo.
A woman doesn't have to do anything a man tells her to do.
A woman doesn't have to give birth. A woman doesn't have to cook and clean.
A woman doesn't have to love you, especially if you demean.
Women don't have to wear makeup. If you don't like it, go fuck yourself.
Women don't have to be thin. If you don't like it, too bad.
Women don't have to be feminine. If you don't like it, go fuck yourself.
Women don't have to be fashionable. If you don't like it, too bad.
There are only two things a woman needs to do: eat and poo.
A woman doesn't have to do anything a man tells her to do.
A woman doesn't have to give birth. A woman doesn't have to cook and clean.
A woman doesn't have to love you, especially if you demean.
Time for equality.
Women need to be how they want to be, not how men want them to be.
If they shave their legs, they do that for themselves, not for you.
If they wear makeup, they do that for themselves, not for you.
Be how you want to be, not how others want you to be.
Women's liberation now.
Time for equality.
|
||||
9. |
||||
|
Hey there do you wanna cuddle with me on the grass under a shady tree
and eat a bowl of fruit and have a conversation?
We can talk about the animals and how
we wanna do a lot of activism
because being vegan ain't enough.
I would be delighted if you'd like to spend some
time with me because I find you interesting.
I could learn a lot from you.
Every single one of us is a work in progress
and we can all learn from each other every
single day that we're alive.
I know life can be sad sometimes.
I hope you and I can hang out sometime.
Is society very fucked up? Yes it is.
Can we make it less fucked up? Yes we can.
Hey there do you wanna dance with me under a starry sky?
I wish that light pollution didn't block so many of the stars.
Speaking of pollution, I wish that more people rode a bike
or rode a bus or shared a car so that there weren't so many cars.
And I also wish there weren't so many bars
and people drinking alcohol and getting drunk.
I wish they could get high on life.
Of course maybe it's difficult for people to get high on life
when capitalism makes it so that people have to work a lot.
Hey there do you wanna kiss?
You will not have to worry about finding
particles from murdered animals between my teeth.
I am glad to be a vegan.
It is better for my health and better for the animals
'cause animals don't want to die.
I hope that one day our planet Earth will be a
peaceful place and there will be no more violence.
We need to be compassionate.
Everybody in the universe is family and everybody
needs to come together, stop the fighting and be one.
Hey there do you want to shake my hand?
I want to thank you for being a voice for animals.
I thank you for all that you do.
If you wanna go on a date with me that would be lovely,
but I am happy just being alive and I am glad you're alive too.
|
||||
10. |
||||
|
If you and I were on the Titanic
And you hopped into a lifeboat
And that lifeboat lowered down
Into the icy Atlantic
I would cut
Off my dick
And throw it down to you in that lifeboat
My dick would help you stay warm until you got rescued by the Carpathia
And as the Titanic sunk
And I froze to death in that cold water
I'd have a huge smile on my face, just knowing that
You were using my dick as a cuddle toy
You own my dick
You own my vegan dick
You own my dick
You own my vegan dick
If you and I were getting chased
By Godzilla
And Godzilla tried to eat you
Because he thought you looked yummy
I would cut
Off my dick
And throw it into Godzilla's mouth
Godzilla would stop and eat my dick, giving you enough time to run away
You own my dick
You own my vegan dick
You own my dick
You own my vegan dick
If you and I were in an airplane
And it crashed into the Andes
And we had nothing to eat
And we were starving to death
I would cut
Off my dick
And I would beg for you to eat it
I know that ya don't eat meat
But you'd have to eat my dick
To survive
And after I bled to death, you could eat the rest of my body too
If heaven is real, I would smile from heaven, just knowing I was in your poo
You own my dick
You own my vegan dick
You own my dick
You own my vegan dick
Sexy vegan woman, you may not own much
That's okay, 'cause you're not into materialism
But you should know there are two things that you will always own:
You will always own my heart
You will always own my dick
You own my dick
You own my vegan dick
You own my dick
You own my vegan dick
You own my dick
You own my vegan dick
You own my dick
You own my vegan dick
|
||||
11. |
||||
|
My face is a four. My ass is an eight. According to you, that's how I rate.
My facial features may nauseate, but my ass makes you want to masturbate.
I may be ugly, but you like my butt. Perhaps you wanna treat me like your little slut.
My face may make your camera break, but my ass is hotter than a hotcake.
My smile may make your stomach queasy, but my ass knows how to get sleazy.
My head ain't easy on your eyes, but a masterpiece sits at the top of my thighs.
My face makes you wanna turn off the lights, but my booty looks bangin' in a pair of tights.
My mouth spits lyrics that may be corny, but my ass makes you horny.
According to some people on the internet, my face will never get any pussies wet.
My smile will not make penises hard. My face is less chiseled than a piece of lard.
But apparently, I've got a fine ass. It'll blow you a kiss when it passes gas.
When I shake my butt, your knees get weak. Your tongue gets tied. You can barely speak.
I don't care how you rate my looks. I'm too busy reading books.
My brain is my sexiest body part. It's a work of art.
My face is a four. My ass is an eight. According to you, that's how I rate.
My face is homely, but I don't mind. You can't take your eyes off my behind.
My face is plain, but I don't care. You wish you were a pair of my underwear.
My facial expressions make you cringe. My hot ass could make your fingers singe.
You can say what you want about me. I can laugh at myself, as you can see.
I don't care how you rate my ass and face. I'm too busy making the world a better place.
I get my vegan ass out on the street, teaching people to not eat dairy or meat.
My face may not be pretty, but I do activism all around the city.
According to some people on the internet, my face will never get any pussies wet.
My smile will not make penises hard. My face is less chiseled than a piece of lard.
But apparently, I've got a fine ass. It'll blow you a kiss when it passes gas.
When I shake my butt, your knees get weak. Your tongue gets tied. You can barely speak.
I don't care how you rate my looks. I'm too busy reading books.
My brain is my sexiest body part. It's a work of art.
Rate my appearance, I don't mind. As long as you are always kind
to your fellow animals everywhere. Don't be apathetic. Care.
|
||||
12. |
Jerking Off John
03:13
|
|||
|
I do not mind jerking off John.
He does a lot of activism for the animals.
I do not mind wrapping my fingers around John's dick.
He is a vegan superhero. He'd never hurt a chick.
After John does activism for the animals,
he likes it when I play with his genitals.
To get John's penis erect, it doesn't take long at all,
because his arteries are not clogged up with cholesterol.
I do not mind jerking off John.
He does a lot of activism for the animals.
I do not mind wrapping my fingers around John's dick.
He is a vegan superhero. He'd never hurt a chick.
John is compassionate. He would not hurt a fly.
But he doesn't go on many dates because he is quite shy.
When John gets horny, I'm the one who makes love with him.
I'm so used to his wrinkly balls, I don't even have to make the lights go dim.
I don't mind jerking off John the vegan superhero.
I'm happy to run my fingers through John's pubic hair,
as long as he is kind to animals everywhere.
I'm happy to help make John's crotch feel good,
as long as he spreads the vegan word all around the neighbourhood.
I do not mind jerking off John.
He does a lot of activism for the animals.
I do not mind wrapping my fingers around John's dick.
He is a vegan superhero. He'd never hurt a chick.
|
||||
13. |
Vegan Picnic
01:41
|
|||
|
We're having a picnic. A vegan picnic.
The animals are happy too, 'cause they're not on the menu.
Not eating a chicken, it's still finger lickin'.
The pigs are feeling great, they are not on our plate.
The lambs are thrilled, because they won't be grilled.
The fish are happy today, they are not a filet.
We're having a picnic. A vegan picnic.
The animals are happy too, 'cause they're not on the menu.
The cows are livin' free, enjoying their grasses.
No secretions from animals in our glasses.
The goats are at ease, their milk is not in our cheese.
The hens have not recoiled 'cause their eggs are not hard-boiled.
We're having a picnic. A vegan picnic.
The animals are happy too, 'cause they're not on the menu.
The turkeys are lovin’ that they aren’t in an oven.
The ducks can reach their goals. They won't be over our coals.
We're having a picnic. A vegan picnic.
The animals are happy too, 'cause they're not on the menu.
|
||||
14. |
||||
|
When my friend Summer was 18 years old, she suffered from heart failure.
She would have died if someone hadn't become a registered organ donor.
You won't need your organs when you are dead.
Don't let them rot. They can save lives instead.
Please become a registered organ donor.
Become a registered organ donor.
Organ donors, blood donors, and people in the medical field,
thank you for saving people like Summer.
Organ donors, blood donors, and people in the medical field,
thank you for saving people like Summer.
If you ever need blood and organs, you'll want those things to be available for you,
so please help make those things available for your fellow humans too.
Tell friends and family that you are going to donate your organs,
and you can inspire them to become registered organ donors too.
One organ donor can save eight lives. One organ donor can save eight lives.
Imagine saving the lives of eight people.
I am glad to be a registered organ donor.
I hope you will become a registered organ donor too.
Organ donors, blood donors, and people in the medical field,
thank you for saving people like Summer.
Organ donors, blood donors, and people in the medical field,
thank you for saving people like Summer.
|
||||
15. |
||||
|
If you want to be a farmer, E-I-E-I-O,
Grow nutritious fruits and veggies, E-I-E-I-O.
With apples here and kale there. Yummy plant foods everywhere.
The only farm is a vegan farm. E-I-E-I-O.
If you want to be a farmer, E-I-E-I-O,
Grow nutritious beans and grains, E-I-E-I-O.
With black beans here and whole wheat there. Yummy plant foods everywhere.
The only farm is a vegan farm. E-I-E-I-O.
If you want to be a farmer, E-I-E-I-O,
Grow nutritious nuts and seeds, E-I-E-I-O.
With walnuts here sunflower seeds there. Yummy plant foods everywhere.
The only farm is a vegan farm. E-I-E-I-O.
If you want to be a farmer, E-I-E-I-O,
Please don't exploit animals, E-I-E-I-O.
No meat, eggs, or dairy. Animal abuse is scary.
The only farm is a vegan farm. E-I-E-I-O.
If you want to be a farmer, E-I-E-I-O,
Please don't exploit animals, E-I-E-I-O.
No fur, leather, wool, silk, or down. Animal cruelty makes me frown.
The only farm is a vegan farm. E-I-E-I-O.
If you want to be a farmer, E-I-E-I-O,
Please don't exploit animals, E-I-E-I-O.
Animals aren't ours to use for anything at all.
The only farm is a vegan farm. E-I-E-I-O.
|
||||
16. |
||||
|
One day I was on the internet,
and I learned something that changed my life.
Yeah, one day I was on the internet,
and I learned something that changed my life.
The inside of your mouth is made of the same type of skin cells, yeah,
as the inside of a vagina. The inside of a vagina.
Now if I ever find myself craving oral sex,
I lick the inside of my mouth.
I lick the inside of my mouth.
I close my eyes and pretend I'm licking a woman. Yeah.
I close my eyes and pretend I'm licking a woman. Yeah.
I pretend I can hear her moan with pleasure.
I pretend she considers my tongue a treasure.
I pretend I got her feeling so damn good,
the intensity of her pleasure cannot be measured.
Maybe one day I will have a girlfriend. Yeah.
But for now, I can lick the inside of my mouth any time I want.
Maybe one day I will have a girlfriend. Yeah.
But for now, I can lick the inside of my mouth any time I want.
The inside of my mouth feels warm, wet, and soft,
just like how I remember a vagina feeling.
The inside of my mouth feels warm, wet, and soft,
just like how I remember a vagina feeling.
Whenever I crave oral sex, all I have to do is close my eyes,
and picture my head between a woman's beautiful thighs.
I pretend I can hear her moan with pleasure.
I pretend she considers my tongue a treasure.
I pretend I got her feeling so damn good,
the intensity of her pleasure cannot be measured.
I pretend I can hear her moan with pleasure.
I pretend she considers my tongue a treasure.
I pretend I got her feeling so damn good,
the intensity of her pleasure cannot be measured.
Maybe one day I will have a girlfriend. Yeah.
But for now, I can lick the inside of my mouth any time I want.
Maybe one day I will have a girlfriend. Yeah.
But for now, I can lick the inside of my mouth any time I want.
|
||||
17. |
Hotness Scale
02:23
|
|||
|
How hot am I? Who gives a fuck?
On a hotness scale, I may not be an eight.
But if we go on a date, I will try not to be late.
On a hotness scale, I may not be a seven.
By the way, I'm an atheist. I don't believe in heaven.
On a hotness scale, I may not be a six.
But there's no part of your body that I won't give licks.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a five.
I don't give a fuck. I'm just glad to be alive.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a four.
I try not to complain if I have to do a chore.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a three.
I don't care. I'm just glad to be me.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a two.
By the way, no murdered animals in my stew.
I am a vegan, as you can see.
Fuck hotness scales. I'm just glad to be me.
If people think you are hot, that's lovely.
But remember to be compassionate too.
It's nice if you have a beautiful head of hair,
but don't forget to be kind to animals everywhere.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
On a hotness scale, how do I rate?
I don't give a fuck.
On a hotness scale, I may not be an eight.
But you can think about me when you masturbate.
On a hotness scale, I may not be a seven.
But my music rocks. Turn it up to eleven.
On a hotness scale, I may not be a six.
But at least I don't send unsolicited dick pics.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a five.
I have a driver's license, but I don't like to drive.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a four.
Making art and doing activism makes my heart soar.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a three.
I like to go for hikes and hug a tree.
On a hotness scale, maybe I'm a two.
I don't have murdered animals in my poo.
I am a vegan, as you can see.
Fuck hotness scales. I'm just glad to be me.
If people think you are hot, that's lovely.
But remember to be compassionate too.
It's nice if you have a beautiful head of hair,
but don't forget to be kind to animals everywhere.
How hot am I? Who gives a fuck?
|
||||
18. |
||||
|
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
The time has come for emancipation. We want animal liberation.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
Give us cause for celebration. We want animal liberation.
Humans are not superior to our fellow Earthlings.
But even if we were superior,
we have no right to use animals for anything.
Animal have feelings, just like we do.
Animals feel pain, just like we do.
Let's be kind to animals everywhere.
No more apathy. We need to care.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
The time has come for emancipation. We want animal liberation.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
Give us cause for celebration. We want animal liberation.
Even if you're not a big fan of rules,
perhaps you appreciate the Golden Rule:
Treat others as you'd like to be treated.
Treat others as you'd like to be treated.
You wouldn't like for somebody to kill you
and throw your flesh into a pot of stew.
So don't pay for animals to be killed.
Animals want to live. Not be grilled.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
The time has come for emancipation. We want animal liberation.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
Give us cause for celebration. We want animal liberation.
There are vegan versions of meat, eggs, and dairy.
They don't need to be delivered by a fairy.
You can find them in your grocery store.
They're delicious. Eat them and go get more.
I love being vegan. I feel very healthy.
I like livin' in such a way that I'm not supporting cruelty.
Be kind to animals on land and in the sea.
Embrace unity and equality.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
The time has come for emancipation. We want animal liberation.
March for the end of speciesism. March for the end of speciesism.
Give us cause for celebration. We want animal liberation.
|
||||
19. |
Om
05:39
|
|||
20. |
||||
|
Hey there do you wanna cuddle with me on the grass under a shady tree
and eat a bowl of fruit and have a conversation?
We can talk about the animals and how
we wanna do a lot of activism
because being vegan ain't enough.
I would be delighted if you'd like to spend some
time with me because I find you interesting.
I could learn a lot from you.
Every single one of us is a work in progress
and we can all learn from each other every
single day that we're alive.
I know life can be sad sometimes.
I hope you and I can hang out sometime.
Is society very fucked up? Yes it is.
Can we make it less fucked up? Yes we can.
Hey there do you wanna dance with me under a starry sky?
I wish that light pollution didn't block so many of the stars.
Speaking of pollution, I wish that more people rode a bike
or rode a bus or shared a car so that there weren't so many cars.
And I also wish there weren't so many bars
and people drinking alcohol and getting drunk.
I wish they could get high on life.
Of course maybe it's difficult for people to get high on life
when capitalism makes it so that people have to work a lot.
Hey there do you wanna kiss?
You will not have to worry about finding
particles from murdered animals between my teeth.
I am glad to be a vegan.
It is better for my health and better for the animals
'cause animals don't want to die.
I hope that one day our planet Earth will be a
peaceful place and there will be no more violence.
We need to be compassionate.
Everybody in the universe is family and everybody
needs to come together, stop the fighting and be one.
Hey there do you want to shake my hand?
I want to thank you for being a voice for animals.
I thank you for all that you do.
If you wanna go on a date with me that would be lovely,
but I am happy just being alive and I am glad you're alive too.
|
||||
21. |
No Unsolicited Dick Pics
02:57
|
|||
|
No unsolicited dick pics.
Don't send unsolicited dick pics.
If people want to know what you're packin' down below, they will tell you so.
Don't send unsolicited dick pics.
If people want to see where you squirt out your pee, they will let you know.
You may think your willy is the greatest thing in Philly,
but other people may not think so.
You may think your cock is more beautiful than a hawk,
but other people may not agree.
They'd rather run into walls than look at your balls.
They'd rather talk about politics than look at your dick pics.
They'd rather move to Venus than look at your penis.
You're gonna be a loner if you show everyone your boner.
Don't send unsolicited dick pics.
If people want to know what you're packin' down below, they will tell you so.
Don't send unsolicited dick pics.
If people want to see where you squirt out your pee, they will let you know.
Your penis may be your very best friend,
but unsolicited dick pics are something you shouldn't send.
People have got much better things to do,
than gaze upon the hole where you shoot out your goo.
Photograph your penis as much as you want,
and if somebody likes your dick pics, feel free to flaunt.
But unsolicited dick pics are rapey. Don't be obscene.
Don't make your dick something that people wish could be unseen.
Don't send unsolicited dick pics.
If people want to know what you're packin' down below, they will tell you so.
Don't send unsolicited dick pics.
If people want to see where you squirt out your pee, they will let you know.
|
||||
22. |
Black Lives Matter
02:49
|
|||
|
Black lives matter.
Tell the world that black lives matter.
When someone says "black lives matter,"
don't respond with "all lives matter."
That is being dismissive.
That is being dismissive.
When someone speaks out against hate,
that's not the time for a debate.
Be a good ally and listen.
Be a good ally and listen.
No one was saying "all lives matter,"
until people started saying "black lives matter."
Does the word "black" make you uncomfortable?
Does it remind you about your whiteness?
I want to use my white privilege to help dismantle white privilege.
I say "black lives matter" because I want equality.
When someone says "black lives matter,"
don't respond with "all lives matter."
That is being dismissive.
That is being dismissive.
When someone speaks out against hate,
that's not the time for a debate.
Be a good ally and listen.
Be a good ally and listen.
Visit black people in black spaces.
Listen to what they have to say.
Learn about the struggles they face every day.
Join the civil rights movement not turn away.
Don't feel guilty 'bout white privilege,
do something to help dismantle it.
Don't just engage in idle chatter.
Tell the world black lives matter.
When someone says "black lives matter,"
don't respond with "all lives matter."
That is being dismissive.
That is being dismissive.
When someone speaks out against hate,
that's not the time for a debate.
Be a good ally and listen.
Be a good ally and listen.
|
||||
23. |
||||
|
Got no interest in working at jobs that involve harming animals.
Got no interest in working at jobs that involve harming the biosphere.
My time is very valuable, and if you want me to work at a job,
it better be a job that is actually necessary.
Got no time to work at pointless jobs. I've got a life to live.
Got no interest in being a wage slave. Got to follow my dreams.
Got no time to work at pointless jobs. I've got a life to live.
Got no interest in being a wage slave. Got to follow my dreams.
It's important that I live my values.
Won't compromise morals for pay.
The environment is more important
than the fucking economy.
If soul-crushing describes your job,
I hope you will quit that job soon.
When you are on your death bed,
you may regret working so much.
Got no time to work at pointless jobs. My time's precious to me.
Got no interest in being a wage slave. I have got to be free.
Got no time to work at pointless jobs. My time's precious to me.
Got no interest in being a wage slave. I have got to be free.
Life is short and I've got no time to waste
on jobs that do not fulfill me.
Spending my life chasing after money,
would be an awful tragedy.
We need to stop competing against each other and be one.
Selfishness and apathy are the worst things under the sun.
We need to share the resources and stop all of the fighting.
Less time spent on squabbling and more time spent on uniting.
Capitalism has got to go.
Capitalism has got to go.
|
||||
24. |
I Appreciate You
03:10
|
|||
|
Thanks for all you do. I appreciate you.
I'm glad you exist. I appreciate you.
Thanks for all you do. I appreciate you.
I'm glad you exist. You are fantastic.
I thank the universe for bringing you to my life.
Knowing you exist helps me to be happy, even when faced with strife.
Love is not a strong enough word to describe how I feel 'bout you.
You make the world a better place. I appreciate what you do.
Two, four, sex, eight. Who do we appreciate?
You. Thanks for all you do. I appreciate you.
I'm glad you exist. I appreciate you.
Thanks for all you do. I appreciate you.
I'm glad you exist. You are fantastic.
Sometimes I get busy and I forget to say hello.
But I often think of you. Wonder what you're doing to
make the world a better place like you always do.
I apologize for keeping quiet when I should be
thanking you for everything you do to help those in need.
I know that you do not care about receiving praise,
but all the same I should be saying thank you because you sure do a lot.
Two, four, sex, eight. Who do we appreciate?
You. Thanks for all you do. I appreciate you.
I'm glad you exist. I appreciate you.
Thanks for all you do. I appreciate you.
I'm glad you exist. You are fantastic.
You are a friend to every animal.
On land, and in the air, and in the sea,
you are a friend to all.
Thanks to all of your efforts, the world is a better place.
One day every animal will be living free.
Thanks for all your activism. I appreciate you.
|
||||
25. |
||||
|
Brush my teeth. Yeah!
I don't want a cavity, so I gotta brush my teeth.
I do not want tooth decay, so I gotta brush my teeth.
I do not want gum disease, so I gotta brush my teeth.
I want to be healthy, so I brush all my teeth.
At night before I lie down and rest my weary head,
I make sure to brush my teeth because I desire to be healthy.
Yeah!
Brush brush brush brush brush
Floss my teeth. Yeah!
I don't want a cavity, so I gotta floss my teeth.
I do not want tooth decay, so I gotta floss my teeth.
I do not want gum disease, so I gotta floss my teeth.
I want to be healthy, so I floss all my teeth.
My body is important, so I take care of it.
I make sure to floss my teeth because I desire to be healthy.
Floss Floss
|
||||
If you like John Sakars, you may also like:
A compilation of side-splitters from Tim Heidecker’s podcast “Office Hours,” with appearances by Fred Armisen & others.
go to album
A Square is a Shape of Power
by Courtney and Brad
Courtney Swain and Bradford Krieger play fast and loose on their debut album as a duo.
go to album
The experimental UK artist's latest album is decidedly genre-agnostic.
go to album
Each zodiac sign gets a theme song on Ben Katzman's latest record, featuring members of Illuminati Hotties, Potty Mouth, and Colleen Green.
go to album
Raw live recordings back this rap album which peaks when guests like Lyrics Born, Ozay Moore, Mr Lif step to the mic.
go to album
The Power Of The Heart: A Tribute To Lou Reed
by Various Artists
Keith Richards, Rosanne Cash, Lucinda Williams, Joan Jett, and more pay tribute to the enduring and visionary music of Lou Reed.
go to album
A Chaos Of Flowers
by BIG|BRAVE
Leaning into the sparse, impressionistic sound of 2023's albu "Nature Morte," the Montreal metallurgists sound as heavy and radiant as ever.
go to album
